well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i think my cat just said my name.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
