she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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