youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
