lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
