i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
