it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
