clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
