cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
