We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
