I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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