A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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