just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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