I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize