Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
