Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bring me that man meat
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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