shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize