well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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