Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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