He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
