Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
