Cold hands, warm shart.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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