quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
