dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
