I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
