that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
