I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
