VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
