youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize