I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize