But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
