i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
