I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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