I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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