why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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