We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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