sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
barbara walters just said penis...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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