I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
