im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
