you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
