she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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