I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
