Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
