Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
