sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
