I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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