i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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