You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Drake has all the answers
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
