i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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