I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
