we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
