Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
