Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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