Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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