Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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