It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
