Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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