I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I lost the right to judge tonight
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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