I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
