we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
