Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize