At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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