Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
