Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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