There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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